Who Am I?

Fifteen blogs later and none of you know me.

Hi.

I'm Ashley.
I'm sixteen years old.
I'm obsessed with photography, dance, playing guitar and piano...
And too many other things to list.

My favorite number is 32.
It shows up almost everywhere.
At the most random times.
So I write it everywhere.

I have naturally blonde hair.
I'm super skinny.
I eat, all the time.
Super high metabolism.
I can't sing, but I love to.
I can pick up songs by ear on the piano within a matter of seconds.

I have my flaws.

I'm too clingy.
I move to fast in relationships.
Any relationship, that is.
I'm weird.
I'm super nosy.
I don't know what's in style and what's not.
I can't do my own makeup or hair without looking terrible.
I suck at keeping friends around.
I complain too much.
I can't just "let things go".

Call me anything you want too.
I've probably heard it before.
I'm done caring.
There's a list of a few of my flaws.
Go ahead, talk about them.
Tell everyone.

If you cared enough to point out my flaws, can't you take the time to find out the things that make me who I am? Like the good things about me?

Just a suggestion.

I'm the friendliest person I know.
Respect me, I respect you.

I am done now.

I've just listed all of

Breakthrough

Yesterday I got the opportunity to confront someone.
To change the way they see their life.
Because this person was seeing things negatively.
This person didn't want to be around anymore.

She was making the same mistakes I made.
Some of the mistakes I still make today.
She was relying on everyone else to solve her problems.
When in reality, she could solve them on her own.

People kept telling me...

"If you tell her she is doing this, she will be very upset."

Also, people call me a bitch.

I want to talk about that before I continue my story.
I'm not a bitch. If you respect me. I respect you.
I will confront you if you upset me.
I will confront you if you upset someone else.

I do not HINT at what I want.
I TELL you.

Not a bitch. In fact, I would call that a good friend.

Back to my story.

So I talked to this person.
This person is a girl.
I told her how she can fix her problems.
I told her what she was doing wrong.
And how to correct it.

I was painfully straight forward.
And I saw her tear up, and I thought I had created a mess.

But instead...she smiled.
Really, really, really big.
And said.

"Thank you."

I created a breakthrough in someone else's life.

I cannot tell you how rewarding that is.
I helped someone else, start to be like what I want to be.


Fearless. <3

Surprises

Blog #13. I am liking this.

I love when unexpected happy things happen.
Like you totally don't expect something.
But if it happened it would make you happy.
And then randomly.
It does. :)

It's awesome.

Yesterday was a really bad day. Like THE WORST.
So I guess that means this week has to be better than that, right?
Well, so far it definitely has.

Started the swimming unit in gym.
That's always fun.
I like swimming.

I could have potentially embarrassed myself TERRIBLY today.
But I avoided it. High-five for me? Please.

I'm ready for positive change in my life.
Speaking of which, I should really go start my homework.

Today has been good. :)

Types Of People I Hate

Today I made a list of types of people I can't stand. Are you one of them?

I am not fond of the following types of people...

PEOPLE WHO IGNORE ME AND WON'T TELL ME WHY.
People who won't talk to me, then randomly start, act like nothing is wrong when we hang out and then start ignoring me again shortly after.
People who insult me to make themselves feel better.
Hypocritical people.
People who use me.
People who act like gym class is the Olympics. CALM DOWN.
People who act like they know everything.
Self-Centered people.
Is conceited the same as that? If not, I don't like them either.
Guys who stand in front of my locker in between class and wrestle. GO. AWAY.
Girls who mutter things under their breaths after I answer questions in class.
People who judge me before knowing me.
When people talk about me behind my back.
People who act like my friend then turn around and tell people they hate me.
People who initiate conversation and then fail to hold up a conversation.
People who call me for no reason at all and then sit there and don't say things.
Liars.
People who act stupid for attention.
Easy girls.
Shallow people.
People who lead me on.
People who practically rape each other in front of my locker.

If you're one of these people.
Apologize.

Today Sucks.
The End.
.

Writer's Block

Fun Fact: I write songs.
I've been writing since middle school.
People think it's weird.
Song writing is weird.

Do you realize if there weren't any song writers...
There would be no music?
Okay. So tell me that it's weird again?

Haha, yeah...that's right.

Over the past couple of months I've had writer's block.
I couldn't write a song even if I tried.
When I did try it came out horrible.

But today...
My writer's block went away.

I started one song and stopped.
Then started a totally different one and got really far.
I like it.

Farewell, writer's block. :)

Practice Makes Perfect

Tonight I was talking to someone who just started a blog.
She insisted my writing was better than hers.
I then explained that I've been writing since the 7th grade.
Practice makes perfect.

Think of it this way.

When you were younger.
And you learned to ride a bike...

Wait. Hang on.

When you were REALLY LITTLE and you learned how to walk.
How many times do you think you fell before you were able to walk?
Now, back to the bike thing? How many times did you fall?

Scrape your knee?
Get a bruise?
Cry?

Same concept with writing.
Think of people criticizing your stuff as a scrape or bruise.

Remember the first time you rode your bike alll by yourself?

You were just like your friends...you fit in, you did it.
You can now ride a bike.

Just like me someday, girl.
You will be an incredible writer.
You are now.
But right now you're falling because you are learning.

Let me tell you this.
No.
Let me promise you.

The very first time you write something and you KNOW it is good.
It will be the same feeling you had the first time you rode your bike.
Or walked.
Or did ANYTHING that you have wanted to do that took time to learn.

Promise. :)

Practice makes perfect.

Walking Through Fire

I always make the same mistakes.
Over and over.
And my friends always point it out before me.
They tell me how to fix the bad habit.
But because it's change and no one likes big changes.
I refuse.

Every. Single. Time.
...Literally.
That I make this mistake...
I regret it.

It's like I like to put my hands in the fire and get burned.
I just don't learn.
And it's stupid because I know what I'm doing is stupid.
Only hurting myself.

I feel like I am walking through fire.
Like I like being burned and hurt.
Even though being hurt is all I ever complain about.

I'm simply creating my own misery.
I don't know how to fix that.

Help.