Challenges

Tonight my mom and I looked at flight prices.
I don't know which country I'm going to yet.
So we looked at pricing for all three.

My mom is afraid of flying itself.
So when she discovered I would have to stop in other airports...
She didn't like that idea.

We looked at direct flights.
One of them would cost $3,000
She then started making airports sound...

Complicated.
Scary.
Dangerous.
Confusing.

I called my dad since he flies all the time.
He's not afraid of it.
And let me tell you, everything my mom freaked me out about...
Wasn't really anything scary at all...

My dad made everything sound very simple.
After talking to my older cousin on Facebook who has traveled...
She explained to me that I will be fine, the airport I would stop in is OK.

After getting all nervous and second thinking whether I want to do this trip.
I thought about it...

Isn't my biggest goal right now to be Fearless?

If I get on a plane, and I have to stop somewhere...

I think it will be fun to push myself to new limits to accomplish this.
When I reach my destination, I can say to myself, "I did it."
I will have a host family waiting for me overseas.

I think that's the most incredible feeling in the world.

A family out there wants to host someone like me.

I'm excited. :)

Photograph

This is me. I am Fearless. <3

Fearless

So I'm either living in Spain, Italy, or France for a month this summer.

I have never been more excited for June in my whole entire life.

This means I get to get away from everything and everyone.

Everything that's been holding me down.

Will be gone.

I have my fears though.

I have to get on a plane (several) by myself.

I'm not fluent in Spanish.

And if they can't find me a host family in Spain...

They look in France or Italy.

I don't know Italian or French.

I would know before I leave what place I'm going.

Time to learn a new language.

But what if I get lost?

What if I lose my luggage?

Fears.

But after I reach my destination I will feel how I have always wanted to feel.

Fearless.

Slap In The Face

Don't you just love it when someone comes across as someone they're not?
Even if they don't do it on purpose. So you spend weeks or even months...
Thinking that they're someone they're not, then when it comes down to it...
You tell them something or ask them a question, and throw yourself out there...
And they turn on you...or catch you off guard?

I hate it.

How much do I need to give before someone gives me something to take?
I feel like I give and give and give and give and say, "Here I am, now you know everything about me. Now give me what I'm looking for like you promised." And then the person doesn't.

Story of my life.

The Crowded Room

Have you ever felt alone in a crowded room?

I have.
Maybe I didn't feel alone, but I certainly felt left out.

This particular "room" was the school gym.
I guess there are advantages at sitting alone.
Or practically alone.

Like you will notice a few things...

The sports photographers always appear to miss potential great shots.
They always get the ones of people making baskets but they never get ones of the players' faces while trying to get the ball.
How serious about the game they are.

I've wanted to start a blog for a really long time.
I write a lot on my own.
But I always complain about never being heard or people not getting to know me.

So here I am.

And here you are, reading this.

And after you close this window you'll probably get on with your life and think nothing of this.
Maybe you'll make fun of it.

And I will be the first one to admit, that's my biggest fear about doing this whole blog thing.

However, have you ever had a really big fear?
Let's use speaking in front of a lot of people for an example.
So, you're asked to speak in front of a ton of people.
NO...right?

But what if all of your friends told you, that you're a really good speaker and that you should do it?

Let's say you do it. You go out there and you speak.
Don't you feel good after you do?

I always feel really good knowing I over came a fear.
I'm linking this blog to Facebook for my 473 people to either ignore or take interest in.
They can do whatever they want about this.
I'm done caring.

Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, "I just don't care"?

I have.

Which is why I have appropriately titled my blog, "Fearless."

Simplicity and Innocence

starting a blog and putting up links about it everywhere to show people that i'm done caring about what they say/think about me.

here we go.

i have legitimately spent almost all day having flashbacks from when i was 4.
and when i moved into this house i still call home.
and when i met the people i grew up with.

the people who i have a lot of things to say to now.
but i'm too scared to ever speak up when i get the chance.

i wish i were fearless.

i feel like when i think back on the times i spent with those people...
the memories are always from summer.
i think i miss the innocence the most.

when fights between my brother and i would be as simple as to who gets to watch what TV show. things like that remind me of when i was little.

i dislike how complex things are now.